{"status":true,"post":{"id":33957,"user_id":3,"status":1,"type":1,"orde":null,"notification_type":3,"static_post":0,"published_at":"2022-10-24 21:30:02","created_at":"2022-07-21T21:00:00.000000Z","updated_at":"2022-10-24T18:30:02.000000Z","edited_at":"2024-12-17 22:35:21","source_id":null,"post_id":33957,"is_featured":0,"title":"Yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup do\u011frunun d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131d\u0131r","slider_title":null,"slider_title_2":null,"slider_spot_title":null,"slider_spot_title_2":null,"home_title":null,"sub_title":null,"category_id":73,"description":null,"content":" \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t

H\u00dcSEY\u0130N \u00d6ZT\u00dcRK<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

\u0130ki ki\u015fi aras\u0131ndan tutal\u0131m da; ilelerimizde, i\u015fyerlerimizde, al\u0131\u015fveri\u015flerimizde, kom\u015fu ili\u015fkilerimizde kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z olumsuzluklar\u0131n temelinde yatan hususlar\u0131n y\u00fczde 80\u2019i, yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup neticesinde meydana gelir. <\/span>
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Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla birbirimizi anlamaya direnmemiz, kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup sebebiyledir. Bir\u00e7o\u011fumuz kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdaki muhatab\u0131m\u0131za meram\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 anlat\u0131rken, ki\u015fi bizi dinliyormu\u015f gibi yapsa da dinlemez ve daha s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn sonuna gelmeden cevap haz\u0131rlamaya ba\u015flar.<\/span>
<\/span>
Siz ne derseniz deyin, \u00f6nyarg\u0131 ve pe\u015fin h\u00fck\u00fcml\u00fc dinlenildi\u011finiz i\u00e7in beklemedi\u011finiz cevaplarla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fabilirsiniz ve i\u015fte orada kelimeler birbirlerinden kopar, c\u00fcmleler da\u011f\u0131l\u0131r, s\u00f6zler da\u011fdan, ta\u015ftan, dereden, tepeden gelen sel gibi do\u011frular\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcne kat\u0131p s\u00fcr\u00fckler.<\/span>
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Yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup \u00fczerine verilecek \u00e7e\u015fitli \u00f6rnekler var ama biz de bir yanl\u0131\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fmemek i\u00e7in hepimizin ho\u015flanaca\u011f\u0131 ve anlayaca\u011f\u0131 anonim bir hik\u00e2ye ile meram\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 dillendirelim. Bu hik\u00e2yenin yeri, yurdu, memleketi, sahibi, anlat\u0131c\u0131n\u0131n durumuna g\u00f6re de\u011fi\u015fse de \u00f6z\u00fc ayn\u0131d\u0131r.<\/span>
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***<\/span>
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Bir vakitler, \u00fclkenin birinde kudretli mi kudretli, g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc m\u00fc g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir h\u00fck\u00fcmdar varm\u0131\u015f. Onun s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fczerine s\u00f6z s\u00f6ylemek, dediklerini yerine getirmemek olmazm\u0131\u015f. B\u00fct\u00fcn bir \u00fclke halk\u0131 h\u00fck\u00fcmdar\u0131n\u0131 sever, sayar, sahiplenirmi\u015f.<\/span>
<\/span>
Derken g\u00fcnlerden bir g\u00fcn, r\u00fcyas\u0131nda t\u00fcm di\u015flerini birer birer kaybetti\u011fini g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f. Kudretli h\u00fck\u00fcmdar r\u00fcyadan \u00e7ok korkmu\u015f. Hemen r\u00fcya tabircisi bulunmas\u0131n\u0131 istemi\u015f, arzusu yerine getirilerek k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede tabirci gelip, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ge\u00e7mi\u015f ve \u015funlar\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015f:<\/span>
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\u201cH\u00fck\u00fcmdar\u0131m bu di\u015fler sizin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r, evlatlar\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r, hepsi sizin g\u00f6zlerinizin \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00f6lecek ve siz de bunlar\u0131 birer birer g\u00f6receksiniz\u201d demi\u015f. H\u00fck\u00fcmdar tabirciye \u00f6yle bir hiddetlenmi\u015f ki, derhal ba\u015fka bir tabirci bulunmas\u0131n\u0131 talep etmi\u015f.<\/span>
<\/span>
Di\u011fer r\u00fcya tabircisi gelmi\u015f, h\u00fck\u00fcmdar\u0131n r\u00fcyas\u0131n\u0131 dinlemi\u015f ve \u015f\u00f6yle tabir etmi\u015f:<\/span>
<\/span>
\u201cAh efendim, siz ne g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir h\u00fck\u00fcmdars\u0131n\u0131z. Sevinin, mutlu olun, \u00fclkemizin ve m\u00fclk\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fcn sahibi olarak daha ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda \u00e7ok kalacaks\u0131n\u0131z. Di\u015flerinizin birer birer d\u00f6k\u00fclmesi, evlatlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 i\u015faret ediyor. Siz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131zdan daha \u00e7ok ya\u015fayacaks\u0131n\u0131z. \u00d6mr\u00fcn\u00fcz onlar\u0131n \u00f6m\u00fcrlerinden fazla olacak\u201d deyince tabirci m\u00fck\u00e2fatland\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f.<\/span>
<\/span>
Evet, hik\u00e2ye bu ya, anla\u015f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi iki tabirci de ayn\u0131 \u015feyi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor ama aradaki fark \u00fcslup de\u011fi\u015fikli\u011fi. Biri, \u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n hepsi g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00f6lecek, siz de g\u00f6receksiniz\u201d diyor. Di\u011feri ise \u201cSiz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131zdan daha \u00e7ok ya\u015fayacaks\u0131n\u0131z\u201d diyor.<\/span>
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***<\/span>
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Efendim, yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup sadece s\u00f6z s\u00f6ylemede de\u011fildir elbet. Esas daha \u00f6nemli bir ba\u015fka \u00fcslup vard\u0131r ki, birbirimizle olan anla\u015fmazl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bozulmas\u0131na, s\u00f6zden ziyade beden dilimiz sebeptir. Beden hareketlerimiz, s\u00f6zlerimizden daha \u00e7ok \u015fey anlat\u0131r \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.<\/span>
<\/span>
Beden dilimizdeki \u00fcslup yanl\u0131\u015f\u0131, anla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131 en kolay s\u00f6zc\u00fckleri bile k\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm haline getirir. G\u00f6zlerimiz ile el-kol hareketlerimiz; s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn do\u011frulu\u011funu, yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, samimiyetini, samimiyetsizli\u011fini anlatan belgelerdir, anl\u0131k foto\u011fraflard\u0131r ve silinmez.<\/span>
<\/span>
Mesela \u201cg\u00f6zler yalan s\u00f6ylemez ve s\u00f6yletmez\u201d denilmesi bo\u015funa de\u011fildir. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n en profesyonel yalanc\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za al\u0131p; \u201c\u0130stedi\u011fin kadar yalan s\u00f6yle ama her kelimeyi, g\u00f6zlerimin i\u00e7ine bakarak s\u00f6yle\u201d desek, ilk 30 saniyede dili dola\u015facak ve kelimeler birbirine girecek, konu\u015famayacakt\u0131r. G\u00f6zler, \u00e7ok g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ve h\u0131zl\u0131 karar veren hakemlerdir.<\/span>
<\/span>
Yeri gelmi\u015fken \u015fu hususu da payla\u015fal\u0131m. \u0130ster iki, ister daha \u00e7ok insanla ileti\u015fimde olal\u0131m veya toplant\u0131larda, seminerlerde, konferanslarda, al\u0131\u015fveri\u015fte olal\u0131m, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 diyaloglar kurulurken, beden dilinde \u015fu oranlar\u0131 hat\u0131rda tutmal\u0131:<\/span>
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Birbirimizle ileti\u015fimde sesin tesiri y\u00fczde 20, s\u00f6z\u00fcn tesiri y\u00fczde 20, beden dilinin tesiri ise y\u00fczde 60\u2019t\u0131r. Yani s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn ve sesimizin tamamlay\u0131c\u0131s\u0131, anlat\u0131c\u0131s\u0131 beden dilimizdir.<\/span>
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Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup ve beden dili, ta\u015fa tohum ekmek gibidir. S\u00f6z heba olur.<\/span><\/p> \t\t\t\t","slug":"yanlis-uslup-dogrunun-dusmanidir","tags":"K\u00f6\u015fe Yaz\u0131s\u0131","meta_title":"Yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup do\u011frunun d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131d\u0131r","meta_description":"H\u00dcSEY\u0130N \u00d6ZT\u00dcRK","meta_keywords":"K\u00f6\u015fe Yaz\u0131s\u0131","news_cover_min":null,"news_cover":null,"news_video_min":null,"news_video":null,"view_count":1108,"cropped_1200x675":null,"user":{"id":3,"name":"H\u00dcSEY\u0130N","surname":"\u00d6ZT\u00dcRK","email":"ada.tokatlioglu@turk.net","slug":"huseyin-ozturk","avatar":"\/front\/uploads\/avatar\/1733691600d1camTRk8GL2Xc5.webp","status":1,"role":1,"email_verified_at":null,"orde":null,"created_at":"2022-09-15T09:39:41.000000Z","updated_at":"2024-12-18T14:51:11.000000Z","seo_title":null,"seo_description":null},"translations":[{"id":34056,"is_featured":0,"is_amp":0,"is_ads":0,"ads_link":null,"post_id":33957,"locale":"tr","category_id":73,"title":"Yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup do\u011frunun d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131d\u0131r","home_title":null,"sub_title":null,"slider_title":null,"slider_title_2":null,"slider_spot_title":null,"slider_spot_title_2":null,"subtitleuse":0,"description":null,"content":" \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t

H\u00dcSEY\u0130N \u00d6ZT\u00dcRK<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

\u0130ki ki\u015fi aras\u0131ndan tutal\u0131m da; ilelerimizde, i\u015fyerlerimizde, al\u0131\u015fveri\u015flerimizde, kom\u015fu ili\u015fkilerimizde kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z olumsuzluklar\u0131n temelinde yatan hususlar\u0131n y\u00fczde 80\u2019i, yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup neticesinde meydana gelir. <\/span>
<\/span>
Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla birbirimizi anlamaya direnmemiz, kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup sebebiyledir. Bir\u00e7o\u011fumuz kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdaki muhatab\u0131m\u0131za meram\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 anlat\u0131rken, ki\u015fi bizi dinliyormu\u015f gibi yapsa da dinlemez ve daha s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn sonuna gelmeden cevap haz\u0131rlamaya ba\u015flar.<\/span>
<\/span>
Siz ne derseniz deyin, \u00f6nyarg\u0131 ve pe\u015fin h\u00fck\u00fcml\u00fc dinlenildi\u011finiz i\u00e7in beklemedi\u011finiz cevaplarla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fabilirsiniz ve i\u015fte orada kelimeler birbirlerinden kopar, c\u00fcmleler da\u011f\u0131l\u0131r, s\u00f6zler da\u011fdan, ta\u015ftan, dereden, tepeden gelen sel gibi do\u011frular\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcne kat\u0131p s\u00fcr\u00fckler.<\/span>
<\/span>
Yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup \u00fczerine verilecek \u00e7e\u015fitli \u00f6rnekler var ama biz de bir yanl\u0131\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fmemek i\u00e7in hepimizin ho\u015flanaca\u011f\u0131 ve anlayaca\u011f\u0131 anonim bir hik\u00e2ye ile meram\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 dillendirelim. Bu hik\u00e2yenin yeri, yurdu, memleketi, sahibi, anlat\u0131c\u0131n\u0131n durumuna g\u00f6re de\u011fi\u015fse de \u00f6z\u00fc ayn\u0131d\u0131r.<\/span>
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***<\/span>
<\/span>
Bir vakitler, \u00fclkenin birinde kudretli mi kudretli, g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc m\u00fc g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir h\u00fck\u00fcmdar varm\u0131\u015f. Onun s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fczerine s\u00f6z s\u00f6ylemek, dediklerini yerine getirmemek olmazm\u0131\u015f. B\u00fct\u00fcn bir \u00fclke halk\u0131 h\u00fck\u00fcmdar\u0131n\u0131 sever, sayar, sahiplenirmi\u015f.<\/span>
<\/span>
Derken g\u00fcnlerden bir g\u00fcn, r\u00fcyas\u0131nda t\u00fcm di\u015flerini birer birer kaybetti\u011fini g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f. Kudretli h\u00fck\u00fcmdar r\u00fcyadan \u00e7ok korkmu\u015f. Hemen r\u00fcya tabircisi bulunmas\u0131n\u0131 istemi\u015f, arzusu yerine getirilerek k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede tabirci gelip, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ge\u00e7mi\u015f ve \u015funlar\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015f:<\/span>
<\/span>
\u201cH\u00fck\u00fcmdar\u0131m bu di\u015fler sizin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r, evlatlar\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r, hepsi sizin g\u00f6zlerinizin \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00f6lecek ve siz de bunlar\u0131 birer birer g\u00f6receksiniz\u201d demi\u015f. H\u00fck\u00fcmdar tabirciye \u00f6yle bir hiddetlenmi\u015f ki, derhal ba\u015fka bir tabirci bulunmas\u0131n\u0131 talep etmi\u015f.<\/span>
<\/span>
Di\u011fer r\u00fcya tabircisi gelmi\u015f, h\u00fck\u00fcmdar\u0131n r\u00fcyas\u0131n\u0131 dinlemi\u015f ve \u015f\u00f6yle tabir etmi\u015f:<\/span>
<\/span>
\u201cAh efendim, siz ne g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir h\u00fck\u00fcmdars\u0131n\u0131z. Sevinin, mutlu olun, \u00fclkemizin ve m\u00fclk\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fcn sahibi olarak daha ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda \u00e7ok kalacaks\u0131n\u0131z. Di\u015flerinizin birer birer d\u00f6k\u00fclmesi, evlatlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 i\u015faret ediyor. Siz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131zdan daha \u00e7ok ya\u015fayacaks\u0131n\u0131z. \u00d6mr\u00fcn\u00fcz onlar\u0131n \u00f6m\u00fcrlerinden fazla olacak\u201d deyince tabirci m\u00fck\u00e2fatland\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f.<\/span>
<\/span>
Evet, hik\u00e2ye bu ya, anla\u015f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi iki tabirci de ayn\u0131 \u015feyi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor ama aradaki fark \u00fcslup de\u011fi\u015fikli\u011fi. Biri, \u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n hepsi g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00f6lecek, siz de g\u00f6receksiniz\u201d diyor. Di\u011feri ise \u201cSiz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131zdan daha \u00e7ok ya\u015fayacaks\u0131n\u0131z\u201d diyor.<\/span>
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***<\/span>
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Efendim, yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup sadece s\u00f6z s\u00f6ylemede de\u011fildir elbet. Esas daha \u00f6nemli bir ba\u015fka \u00fcslup vard\u0131r ki, birbirimizle olan anla\u015fmazl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bozulmas\u0131na, s\u00f6zden ziyade beden dilimiz sebeptir. Beden hareketlerimiz, s\u00f6zlerimizden daha \u00e7ok \u015fey anlat\u0131r \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.<\/span>
<\/span>
Beden dilimizdeki \u00fcslup yanl\u0131\u015f\u0131, anla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131 en kolay s\u00f6zc\u00fckleri bile k\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm haline getirir. G\u00f6zlerimiz ile el-kol hareketlerimiz; s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn do\u011frulu\u011funu, yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, samimiyetini, samimiyetsizli\u011fini anlatan belgelerdir, anl\u0131k foto\u011fraflard\u0131r ve silinmez.<\/span>
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Mesela \u201cg\u00f6zler yalan s\u00f6ylemez ve s\u00f6yletmez\u201d denilmesi bo\u015funa de\u011fildir. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n en profesyonel yalanc\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za al\u0131p; \u201c\u0130stedi\u011fin kadar yalan s\u00f6yle ama her kelimeyi, g\u00f6zlerimin i\u00e7ine bakarak s\u00f6yle\u201d desek, ilk 30 saniyede dili dola\u015facak ve kelimeler birbirine girecek, konu\u015famayacakt\u0131r. G\u00f6zler, \u00e7ok g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ve h\u0131zl\u0131 karar veren hakemlerdir.<\/span>
<\/span>
Yeri gelmi\u015fken \u015fu hususu da payla\u015fal\u0131m. \u0130ster iki, ister daha \u00e7ok insanla ileti\u015fimde olal\u0131m veya toplant\u0131larda, seminerlerde, konferanslarda, al\u0131\u015fveri\u015fte olal\u0131m, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 diyaloglar kurulurken, beden dilinde \u015fu oranlar\u0131 hat\u0131rda tutmal\u0131:<\/span>
<\/span>
Birbirimizle ileti\u015fimde sesin tesiri y\u00fczde 20, s\u00f6z\u00fcn tesiri y\u00fczde 20, beden dilinin tesiri ise y\u00fczde 60\u2019t\u0131r. Yani s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn ve sesimizin tamamlay\u0131c\u0131s\u0131, anlat\u0131c\u0131s\u0131 beden dilimizdir.<\/span>
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Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup ve beden dili, ta\u015fa tohum ekmek gibidir. S\u00f6z heba olur.<\/span><\/p> \t\t\t\t","slug":"yanlis-uslup-dogrunun-dusmanidir","orjinalimage":null,"news_cover_min":null,"news_cover":null,"news_video_min":null,"news_video":null,"cropped_638x552":null,"cropped_310x208":null,"cropped_416x247":null,"cropped_197x247":null,"cropped_416x600":null,"cropped_1200x675":null,"tags":"K\u00f6\u015fe Yaz\u0131s\u0131","meta_title":"Yanl\u0131\u015f \u00fcslup do\u011frunun d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131d\u0131r","meta_description":"H\u00dcSEY\u0130N \u00d6ZT\u00dcRK","meta_keywords":"K\u00f6\u015fe Yaz\u0131s\u0131","view_count":1108,"yt":0,"ytid":"","ytimage":null,"imgdate":"2000-01-01 00:00:00","cuff_cover":null,"cropped_358x214":null,"cropped_842x474":null}]}}